It's been tough. I gave myself a break during the holidays because I was getting really depressed. I mean, I'm not even technically overweight, just out of shape, so who am I to be depressed about my weight? I do feel a bit guilty... but I also know I can't let it get out of control. I was never a Size 0, I went right from Girls 16 sizes to a 3 (there was a 3?) then a 5 (I just remember that from my cheapo Mervyns jeans) and now I am a 6, bordering on an 8.
I just found out last weekend that my friend M worked her way down from a 10 to 6 and bought herself a little black dress at Banana Republic--and it was 75% off! I am simultaneously proud and jealous (more proud than anything). Yay!
Rewind: I hit the top of my recommended weight (140 lbs for a 5'3" tall, 27-year-old woman) the week after Christmas and kept it on until just last week... I probably went a little over but there was that week where I just stopped checking because we went on vacation to New York.
I baked piles and piles of cookies, like there was no tomorrow. Chewy chocolate chip, crunchy chocolate chip, anisette, oatmeal with raisins... Calorie city. I also indulged whatever I wanted to eat in New York, though we had a pretty healthy late lunch at the MoMA and delicious teas and dimsum at Temptation Tea House in Mount Kisco. Yum!
The week after I got back it was a little shocking to see that needle on the scale climb past 140... so I stopped weighing and started eating what I normally eat, with a couple of things cut out. It kind of helped that we made a big mistake turning down the thermostat on the refrigerator while we were gone--I came home after 6 days and the whole refrigerator was OFF. The freezer was the worst. With the raw chicken parts and juices I also threw out the ice cream and my favorite Princess cake from Ikea... A lot of food was wasted and I felt badly about that, but I didn't want to take the chance of getting sick and I was able to start the new year (post-vacation, anyway) with a brand new healthy refrigerator full of food.
I went to Trader Joes and got veggies, organic goodies, and some frozen, fast meals (it makes more sense for me to get those right now since Jason travels so much, it's cheaper than cooking a new meal every night just for myself).
Also I know exactly what I've got in my fridge right now:
apples, oranges, lemons, green peppers, lettuce
orange juice, fat-free Lactaid, filtered water (yes, there is actually soda in there from our weekly D&D session, but I've been going easy on that ad drinking much more water)
99% fat free yogurt (6 cups)
smart balance spread
provolone cheese, a wedge of brie, some pepperoni
a variety of condiments
4 whole wheat English muffins
6 cinnamon raisin bagels
in the freezer-10 lean cuisine meals
2 frozen crab cakes
a bag of TJ's mushroom fettucine
I think I'll have that tonight actually.
I have been exercising only once a week since the 8th, but I think because my diet returned to normal I was able to go back down to my previous weight of 135 lbs.
Currently I'm at 133.
I picked up a lot of yoga dvds over the holiday, and for the last two days I have actually been using them.
I also did 30 minutes yesterday and today on Yourself Fitness and got a "Good job!" from Maya.
What I'm doing now to stick to my goals:
* reading Self magazine--rather, skimming it for the good stuff. For a magazine that touts good health and body image they've got a lot of super-tight skinny models that make me feel even more chubby than I am
* making sure that I eat a daytime meal, even if I miss breakfast at least I get a good lunch to keep me going. I had a bad habit of just skipping food altogether and that's not healthy at all, and I ended up with less energy.
* logged in to a bunch of different health sites, like 2424milk.com (since the milk-slimming thing has actually gotten me results--J commented on this the last time he was home and had a view of me from the back :) ) They have a downloadable diet tracker and a 24-day weight loss challenge that you can sign up for, and soothing ocean sounds that play if you click on the vacation sweepstakes banner. mmm, ocean sounds... there's also smallstep.gov
but it doesn't work very well in my opinion--I keep getting errors when I try to log in my activities.
Thanks to everyone for reading, you keep me honest!